I went for my follow-up appointment after getting my biopsy done, to have them tell me exactly what is going on with all this pre-cancer stuff. My mom went with me this time, so there would be absolutely no confusion on anything that was said.

Basically, he told me that what I have is the virus HPV, which causes pre-cancer of the cervix. The cells they see that cause the pre-cancer in cervix can range from mild to severe and they said that mine were moderate. This meant that they wanted me to come in so they could scrape away the cells right away so they didn't sit there and fester, allowing the virus to break through the lining or whatever and get into the rest of my body and develop into cancer. If I were to leave it, it would lead to cancer in 10-15 years. Since they caught it early, this is how they are able to treat it and whatnot, to prevent the cancer from forming.

My mom was not all that shaken. She was a little stressed, but not as freaked as I was, once again. But she told me something that really made me think. When she was about my age (a little older, like 19ish I think she said) she had to get cryo treatment and have her uterus frozen because she got an abnormal pap; she had to have this done twice. Then she was fine after that and obviously able to have kids. They never actually told her what was wrong, but the doctor told us today the only reason they will do cryo treatment/scrape the uterus is if you have the HPV virus, so I'm guessing that's what she had and they just didn't tell her because it was so long ago. All this time I was thinking I got this from being promiscuous, but I could have got it from my mother.

I'm dealing with all of this by having a huge b/p fest. I will go get high later hopefully. I need to not think right now.

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