I spend too much money on drugs. In the past month or so my account has gone from 1500 to 890ish. And that is all from drugs, because I don't really spend money on a whole lot else besides food and gas. That's a sad realization right there. I remember when I used to be able to make an eighth last me a week. Now I'm lucky if I can make one last me 2 or 3 days. Weekends kill me, because I always think I have to go all-out. I need to stop partying, for real. I'm gonna be broke in no time.

With all this pot smoking, I've been getting the munchies a lot. This means that I've been purging more as well, and also planning b/p's. This is a huge step back for me as far as my recovery, because before I was doing alright in that department. If I was purging, it was just because I felt too full. But now it's gotten to the point where I'm thinking about how I "feel like b/ping tonight" and so I plan it out. And the thing that sucks is that my weight has gone up since I'm keeping some of my binges down because probably 75% of my binges are munchie-induced and I'm with friends when they happen. I would not feel comfortable stopping off and purging with the friends that I hang out with... I just have a feeling they would know. At least Ashley would probably know. Teddy and the other guys probably wouldn't have a clue but it would just feel weird to go puke and then come back out and hang with the guys... although I've done this before many, many times; I'm just out of practice because I haven't done that since I was b/ping hardcore.

Prom really sucked ass. It was really boring and we only stayed for like an hour. I looked cute though, so that made up for it. I got light up shoes! I will have pictures as soon as I use up the rest of the film, but until those arrive, I do happen to have a couple recent photos of myself. They are mostly body shots and such, so if you are interested, you can see them here. They are in the March/April 2005 folder. If you look, please comment either in my notes or you can sign the guestbook. Thanks.

I am interested in someone new. It's this girl named Britney. She's pretty in a conventional way, with short blond hair, blue eyes, and a smile with dimples. She's very curvy though, which is a new one for me, and I was almost not attracted to her because she wasn't skinny enough, but then she showed me her boobs (in a bra, you naughty people) and I fell in love. *giggle* She's got lots of crazy piercings, too, which would be real fun to play with. I would at least want to make out with her. She's got her tongue pierced, her belly button pierced twice (top and bottom; I really want this done now if mine is big enough for it), and both her nipples (ouch!) Nipple piercings are hot, and I've contemplated getting mine done, but I'm just so afraid it would hurt like a bitch that I'm afraid I would back out if I were to attempt to get it done. Like not even so much the initial piercing, but the aftercare, and like twisting the ring... *shudders* Painful.

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